Posted in failed lap band, failed weight loss surgery, lap band, lap band removal, lap band removed, postpartum, postpartum weight loss, pregnancy, pregnancy weight management, weight loss, weight loss surgery, weight loss surgery regain, weight loss surgery revision

McDonald’s & Weight Loss

I have recently found myself in a pattern with my weight loss. I drop 5 lbs and then spin in those 5 lbs for 2-3 weeks before being able to drop down another 5 lbs and so on and so forth.

I know weight loss is not linear. But it is interesting to find myself in this very specific pattern.

I also know that it is because I sometimes find myself not fully believing or being able to visualize my body as a size 8. [This speaks to my coaching style and if you’re intrigued, message me.]

It would be easy for me to find fault with myself and see the negativity, see that this will “never happen” for myself. And if that was my point of view, I would be right!

Here’s the thing — the last 2 days this week (and on plan for day 3, too) is McDonald’s. Yes, it is not healthy. No, it is not my favorite thing to eat. It is just where I am at right now. Some of you may not even be able to admit that aloud. [I feel you. Message me.]

But! I let go of the judgement, the self-imposed pressure of what I “should” be eating in order to lose weight. No judgement. I just listened to my body according to hunger and satiety, and I lost weight. I lost weight eating McDonald’s two days in a row. I did not eat too much. I ate just enough.

So, I met myself where I am. Somedays it is eating a salad. Somedays it is McDonald’s. Being in tune with myself is enough for me to trust that I can ask of myself something reasonable. No pressure. No questioning. No resentment.

If this approach sounds like something you’re missing in your own life, send me a message and we’ll set up a free mini session.

I teach women how to trust themselves and their bodies and I am looking forward to hearing all about your own success and how you’ve met yourself where you are — and still gotten the overall desired results.

Posted in failed lap band, failed weight loss surgery, lap band, lap band removal, lap band removed, postpartum, postpartum weight loss, pregnancy, pregnancy weight management, weight loss, weight loss surgery, weight loss surgery regain, weight loss surgery revision

When the Doctor is wrong…

I remember once when I went to the hospital to get my lap band checked, the DOCTOR said to me, “maybe some people are not meant to be skinny.”

I was utterly devastated.

I believed him.

I had such a low opinion of myself, it only made perfect sense that the doctor who was supposed to help me simply saw no reason to try. I was not worthy of figuring it out.

Truthfully, the lap band did exactly what it was meant to do. It forced me to eat less. But it also ruined every single meal I had for 7 years. Not just because I was forced to eat less, but because I had to excuse myself from the table every single meal (albeit a handful). I could NOT eat food that was fibrous, or too “thick,” or really anything solid at all. It sucks having to admit this out loud but if you know what it’s like, then you KNOW exactly what I am talking about. And this went on for S-E-V-E-N years.

Until I could not ignore it anymore.

I started trying to figure out how to love myself. And that meant that I could no longer ignore this thing that was inhibiting my quality of life.

I had to have it removed.

It was scary to say that out loud. I knew it for years, never willing to admit it to anyone else.

Could it be that I had to have it out WITHOUT considering a revision surgery?

Blasphemy.

But I embraced the scary. I wanted my life back. I wanted to see if I could figure out this whole weight struggle.

I KNEW another surgery was not going to be the fix. 

I have now lost more weight than I did with the surgery and I am about to be the lowest I have in over 15 years.

If you or someone you know had the lap band, please share this with them. I want to help you see your worth. I want to show you how to beat this, take back your life and learn to love yourself and this whole round about process.

It was not an easy road this surgery, the promise of what it offered and the miserable fail that was reality… 

You are worth so much more. Trust me.

Posted in failed lap band, failed weight loss surgery, lap band, lap band removal, lap band removed, postpartum, postpartum weight loss, pregnancy, pregnancy weight management, weight loss, weight loss surgery, weight loss surgery regain, weight loss surgery revision

This Dress Tho & My Identity

I thought this dress was magical all those years ago. I am wearing it today – for the last time, so I can really enjoy the fact that my body is continuously getting smaller every week. 

I am creating my new identity. How I identify to myself matters. 

I am now someone who does not struggle with my weight, who is a coach that creates masterful results along with her clients. Food is fuel. Emotions are always welcomed and allowed. I am confident, bold, and worthy.

What results in your life are you missing? How do you currently identify yourself around that? It matters. The thoughts you think about you create emotions and actions that give you direct results — results that are evidence for your thoughts.

Think about that for a second.

I can show you the way your mind is working, that you are worthy of more, that you can feel more peaceful almost immediately.

If you want to.

Posted in failed lap band, failed weight loss surgery, lap band, lap band removal, lap band removed, postpartum, postpartum weight loss, pregnancy, pregnancy weight management, weight loss, weight loss surgery, weight loss surgery regain, weight loss surgery revision

Goals & Incentives

You may not already know but on December 7, 2018 I decided my goal for the 2019 was to lose the rest of my weight and get to goal. At the time I was down 43.8 lbs from my highest of 320 lbs.

Flash forward and another week has gone by where I am bouncing around in my thoughts between my present self and weight as compared to my future self and weight.

For those following along at home, my future self is available to me whenever I can tap into it and believe that I will lose all my weight (or whatever the goal is that I have set for myself (made $$$, launched podcast, etc)).

It is time for me to share some incentives that I have set up to make things a little more interesting for the day-to-day feelings that come up in my current existence:

  • At 239 lbs I am getting myself a basketball
  • At 232 lbs (which is the lowest I’ll be since I am 21 (over a decade ago) I am getting a massage
  • At 220 lbs (century club, lost 100 lbs) I am going rock climbing
  • At 199 lbs I am going horse back riding
  • My goal weight is 159 lbs, in December 2019 — I am not totally sure what goal is yet, but I have always wanted a LV bag, and this might be the exact occasion.

Posted in failed lap band, failed weight loss surgery, lap band, lap band removal, lap band removed, postpartum, postpartum weight loss, pregnancy, pregnancy weight management, weight loss, weight loss surgery, weight loss surgery regain, weight loss surgery revision

What does it (really) take to lose your weight for good? Pt.1

After a lifelong struggle with never feeling comfortable and just eating and not doing any intentional exercise, I had had enough. I wanted more for my child at the time. I wanted to become an active mom.

It did not take very long for me to realize post-op that Weight Loss Surgery was not going to the be the fix for me. After 90 days or so, I knew deep down in my core, that eating was about my brain — not my stomach.

Once my lap band was removed, and after recovering from the removal, I could eat the healthier foods I had to avoid for 7 years. The things that added true nutrition to my life.

I learned how to trust my body, listen for hunger queues and satiety signals. Eat when my body needed it and not too much.

After a few months I realized that I was going to lost my weight this way. My body was going to change. My food dependency had drastically shifted.

What did that mean for me? What was I left with?

Discomfort. Not eating when I wanted to just because I had an urge.

Vulnerability. The added pounds on my body was a form of armor. It took work to make peace with giving it up.

Only eating when I was hungry.

Food only solves hunger.

Making a daily food plan and sticking to it.

Being intentional about a weekly exception meal.

Feeling all of the feelings.

Not eating for entertainment or boredom.

Not eating when other people were eating.

That is what it takes to lose your weight.

A real time example for me is from this past weekend, attending my niece’s 7th birthday party at the bowling alley and bringing food from home because I didn’t want to eat pizza and cake.

I judged myself harder than anyone else had that day. But it has been a week since that day and I lost 4.4 lbs this week and hit 75 lbs down.

Are you willing to change the way you think about everything to become the version of you who has more ability to do anything? wear anything?

It is a big ticket item to give up your comfort for change. Not everyone is willing to do it. Are you?

Posted in failed lap band, failed weight loss surgery, lap band, lap band removal, lap band removed, postpartum, postpartum weight loss, pregnancy, pregnancy weight management, weight loss, weight loss surgery, weight loss surgery regain, weight loss surgery revision

Coaches Gotta (Self) Coach

Coaching is hard work because not only is it a service offered to clients but a good coach actually has to do their own work, too — self-coaching. 

I walk the walk. 

I recognize when my brain is interfering with reality. I have thoughts of doubt, fear, confusion. Sometimes I think a thought is the law and not just bs my head makes up. And once that happens, I get to work.

Circumstances in all of our lives are neutral until we have a thought about it.

Time. Commuting. Work. Family. Toddlers. Friends. Pets. Volunteering. The gym. Money. All of the things.

They are all neutral. 

What excuses are you letting your brain believe? How is your brain keeping you in the cave?

You can do anything you want to. Let go of believing your brain.

Posted in failed lap band, failed weight loss surgery, lap band, lap band removal, lap band removed, postpartum, postpartum weight loss, pregnancy, pregnancy weight management, weight loss, weight loss surgery, weight loss surgery regain, weight loss surgery revision

Lap Band Removed

Having my lap band removed was the scariest thing I have ever done. I did not fully believe in my ability to live without it and not gain weight. But I also started to love myself enough to want to have it out all together.

The quality of life with it was awful. I don’t think there were a dozen meals throughout the entire 7 years when I had it that I did not have to get up from the table. You know what I’m talking about.

I tried so hard to ignore this thing that really made life miserable.

I could not eat food that was healthy.

I had to only eat the crap.

It was just a really messed up situation.

I had lost 60 lbs that first year with it in 2010. I got pregnant with and had my son in 2015. My new highest weight was 320. By July 2017 I found myself at the same weight I was when I first had it placed all those years ago — 292.

Facing the doctors and having it removed was the most courageous day in memory.

I could tell they really had no idea why I was doing this. That I must have been crazy. Maybe I was.

At the time I did not know exactly how I was going to lose my weight (which was the scariest piece of all of this!) but I was determined to figure it out.

I knew within those first 3 months that the lap band was not going to be the thing for me to figure this out. I knew that eating was in my brain. It was deep down but I knew it was there. I was desperately trying to ignore it but finally I could not any longer.

I am now down 71 lbs which is more weight than I have ever lost in my life. And I have figured out why overeating was something I struggled with for the majority of my life.

You are not alone. You deserve to have your band removed too if you are even mildly considering what the process would be.

I have absolutely no doubt that I will lose my remaining 90 lbs. I have goals to finish 2019 at my goal weight. I am all in on feeling all of the feelings. I will teach you how.

Do you want to live intentionally or in default mode?