I was 23 years old in 2010 when I ultimately decided to have Weight Loss Surgery. I opted to go with the lap band and needed to gain weight in order to get approval from my insurance company.
When I graduated from high school in 2005, my weight was around 180 pounds. As soon as I began college following that Summer, my weight was already in the 200s and I had absolutely no desire to do what was necessary to stop the bleed.
Sure, I had joined Weight Watchers several times before then but as a ‘rebel,’ almost every weigh in was futile. [I am a rebel as defined by Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies.]
Of course I “knew” how to lose weight. Eat salad. Stop having an entire box of cereal in one day. Go for a walk. I simply did not want to do any of it.
I was emotional and food was the constant to level me out so I did not have to feel.
The lap band played a significant role in my 20s. It totally revoked my ability to binge eat. For that, I am thankful.
However, knowing what I know now and from where I am currently sitting, nothing about weight loss has anything to do with “what” you are eating or how much you move. Just that you simply limit the quantity — and not so that you are hungry; and move in a way that clears your mental space.
Changing my life, finally, took a big effort in my mental game. I will let you in on a secret. No one ever hated themselves enough to lose the weight. It took me figuring out how to love myself in order to make peace with this process… and my new life…