Weight loss surgery was supposed to fix me.
I was supposed to be thin for the rest of my life. It was going to stop me from ever thinking about food ever again.
I was so wrong.
I remember with the lap band, I was so hungry for dinner. I took my first bite. It got stuck. And then I literally could not eat a second bite for like 2 more hours. I was just starving, sitting there at the table while everyone else was eating. I couldn’t take a single bite more. It was miserable.
That was one of the things that pushed me over the edge. I knew something had to give. That there had to be one more thing I could try to lose my weight.
Slowly, I started to like myself too much to have this be my life anymore. And that was what led me to having it finally removed.
And that’s what has brought me here. Right now. To your front door.
You can demand more from yourself just because you want to. Change your relationship with food — and your surgery — and your weight regain. Forgive yourself for making decisions you did. Make peace with the way life has gone. Gaining the weight in the first place. And even passively thinking that “maybe you were just not cut out to be skinny.” Like one of my doctors once told me.
The truth is we can all be at our natural weights. With awareness, attention, and practice — and a whole lot of self love.
Because why do this if not because you want to learn how to radically love yourself and to ultimately heal from all of this emotional garbage.
I’ve been there, done that. Join me. It’s time to stand back up, dust yourself off, and decide if you’re coming with me.