Re-gaining the weight has been the best teacher I’ve ever had. My resistance to it has fueled the importance it carries.

What we resist, persists.

And it is slowly becoming one of my favorite things about me.

Yes, regaining the weight. Getting back up, trying again and failing. It’s a tale of perseverance.

It’s a journey of never giving up.

I’m in the messy middle right now. And it’s beautiful.

I’m so grateful for my willingness to keep showing up and tweaking and finding a new path. Or allowing the new path to reveal itself to me.

The funny thing about never giving up is that eventually the human in you wants to stop forever. And it’s through the decision to keep going anyway that The Universe responds more richly than you could ever imagine.

I’ve had so many golden nuggets come through this year alone because I did not stop looking for them.

I practice trusting myself and having faith in this process every single day.

And it has never let me down.

Even when I’ve thought it was time to stop.

I’m willing to feel disappointed and keep showing up for myself anyway.

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The first step to a new life is a brand new action.

It’s usually the action you are most resistant too.

Cutting out a food group? Easy.
Working out without a rest day? Piece of cake.
A protein shake as a meal replacement? Done.
Pills? Wraps? Creams? Yup, this is the norm.
SURGERY? Sign me up.

What if all of these actions keep us exactly where we are. We lose weight, and “go back to normal” and the weight comes back.

You don’t need life to stop in order to change your life.

I wanted to be this version of myself so badly, my whole life. I remember promising my 15 year old self that once this was figured out, I’d make it my mission to teach. Coaching is the most natural thing for me. And none of this is random. For me. Or for you.

I was in middle school the first time I was signed up for Weight Watchers.

My body had been unacceptable practically my whole life.

And it was through that inacceptance that kept me in the cycle of never-good-enough.

You don’t need me to tell you how that ends.

It is through a new decision that things change.

And that starts at the top. You get to have the life you want. You get to be acceptable just because you want to be. Or maybe you don’t want to be. You just want to figure out the path to long term success. And it is this moment in the path that needs to be acceptable in order to create that change.

You are worthy of this choice for yourself and not a single thing needs to be different.

Ilana & Elvis

📷 taken this morning mid-attempt at face licking. (It’s a no.)

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I’m not saying you need to love your weight regain, but if you were open to it ~ what would change? ...

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I’m in my 3rd season of regain this lifetime. It feels funny to be able to see it as a wave each time the number has crept up. I can name the external things going on for each of those regains — as an excuse or a justification. And it may seem like that still. But what actually happened was — I was not in a place to deal with the stress and hardship of trying to losing weight LAYERED with the hard thing going on at the time.

1. New long term relationship — honeymoon phase followed by moving in together.

2. A slow regain during wedding planning season and the sabotage around wearing the best dress I’ve ever had into my 1st pregnancy and motherhood.

And, 3. Some major success intolerance followed up by a major health diagnosis my husband received (and continues to show no symptoms).

Now, being on the other side of the latest curve, a year later, I have the kind of clarity that I am so grateful for.

Maybe even this is the best thing to ever happen to me. I know that sounds like blasphemy to diet culture. But I have a brain full of knowledge and deep understanding for how this brain actually functions - from a place of neutrality. And I can see the patterns with more crisp awareness as they play out in my day to day life now.

So yes I am grateful to know all that I know in the way that I know it. And I’m grateful for my mind-body relationship the way that it always has been and the way it continues to develop and bloom now as I grow into the version of myself that I deeply wanted to be but never had any idea how.

And that’s really the magic in this moment. I know exactly how, in that I have methods and tools to try and practice. And I know exactly why. And exactly how to hold myself when times get hard. And exactly how to coach my clients when they go through this same exact thing.

And it’ll be through my failing that I find my path. And it’ll be with my coaching that their path accelerates much more quickly than mine.

And life is the journey it’s meant to be for me and for them.

Because we always get what we came for. And if you never give up with weight loss then you make it. And if you make it then what will be next for you?! {Cont’d comments—}

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Good morning ☀️
This made me cry. Lol
Maybe I’m hormonal?
Either way...
I love this life.
I love my body.
I love my weight regain.
I love my intuition.
I trust that it gets to be even better than I could ever imagine.

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