Posted in failed lap band, failed weight loss surgery, lap band removal, postpartum, postpartum weight loss, pregnancy, pregnancy weight management, weight loss, weight loss surgery, weight loss surgery regain, weight loss surgery revision

Scared, but doing it anyway…

I spent the last week or so stewing and not allowing myself to move forward. I was not willing to allow urges and I had a tough time sticking to my plan.

The difference between last week and January, was that this time I knew more or less exactly what was going on in my brain.

I was allowing myself to feel overwhelmed about feeling the discomfort of not eating AND the discomfort of plugging away at writing courses and figuring out my business plan.

There was just too much discomfort.

Plus I had completed a half marathon and that was something I never thought I would have been willing to do so clearly I must be losing my mind — and my brain thinks I am in serious danger.

I love working on my body, and being a maestro who is conducting my outside to match my inside. I love living my best life which includes eating respectfully, finishing half marathons in snow, slush and ice, and building a business to reach a community I am all too familiar with. I LOVE doing these things.

So, why would my brain try to interfere, keep me safe and in the “cave?”

Because this shit is scary. It is hard to be intentional about living life “out loud.”

It is hard to get up every morning and figure out a new way I can throw myself out there. It is a labor of love, don’t get me wrong.

But last week I allowed the internal voice of “no” to get a bit too loud. So I’ve turned down the volume and I’m back to my grind. And I will be going LIVE on facebook tonight to speak about this. Come check it out.

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