I used to believe — and accept about myself — that I was just someone who was inconsistent.
Say one thing. Do the opposite.
My past is filled with holes and gaps. Times in my life where I would really be meaning well but would fail miserably at meeting those expectations.
I knew it at the time too, as I spoke the words, that I was not going to follow through. And yet, I would continue agreeing. Saying I would. For sure.
No self-integrity. No commitment to my word. I never had my own back.
Until one day I decided I did. I decided I was changing. I wanted to show up for myself in a way that was more meaningful. And it started with me.
I started following through doing what I said I would. For myself. Not for anyone else.
Making that small tweak changed everything. I started to show up differently for my family.
It is not always perfect. Self-integrity is a practice. It is not something that is ever perfect. It is noticing when you are out of alignment and intentionally deciding to get back to honoring your word.
The urge for me to not want to follow through is still there. It is just a pattern in my brain that I am working on extinguishing. It is neutral until I decide it makes me a bad person — which I don’t.
As I work on my own self-trust, I am able to extend that to my family and friends, too. After all, if I trust myself then I know I can handle whatever gets thrown my way. And I mean that to the very worst case scenario your brain can take it. I can handle anything life throws at me. And I can thrive because I choose to have the fullest human experience I am meant to in this lifetime.
You can, too.